That number. That is the number in my bank account this very second. That is the amount of funds available to carry myself and my three children for one more week with food, gas, and other necessities. That is the number of a woman who only gets paid once per month and tries to stretch it the best she can. But do you know what else that number represents? Trust. Trust that God will provide. Trust that He will guide me in how to best utilize those remaining dollars so that my children have what they need and I can show up at my job every day. Sometimes we trust God more when we have less.
This is a lesson that we do not learn easily, or quickly. Often times people think the more they have and the more blessed they are, the easier it is to trust God. For me, it is the opposite. Maybe it is because I have had a lot, and I have had nothing. From one end of the spectrum to the other and every place in between the same facts remain: it always ends up okay and God is always there. I have noticed, however, that I appreciate it a whole lot more when He takes me from nothing to something than when I go from something to more. I have been a single mother for 11 years now. I haven’t always struggled financially, but I have always struggled in one way or another having to be everything to all of my children physically, financially and emotionally. That is a heavy cross to bear and it can become tiresome. No one should have to carry it. But some of us do. (“But those who trust in the Lord for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak.” Isaiah 40:31 GNT)
I struggle every month financially. I struggle every week financially. Sometimes we go with Dollar Tree meals and I do the “10.00 at a time” gas charade instead of filling up … which tends to not go so far when you commute 100 miles a day! I am not here to put a bow on this and say that because I trust God I never worry or wonder. I do. Almost every day. Where will it come from? What happens if…? How on earth am I going to stretch this? But that is where I let it stop. It is at that point that I remind myself of where I am at right now, and how I got here. Only God. He has been the one constant in my life through heartache, betrayal, pain, divorce, emptiness, brokenness, financial struggle, and fear. He is the reason I always seem to find the other side—because of God and because of the kind and loving people He has placed in my life that rally by my side in the depths of messy circumstances. On the flip side, God has also been the one constant in my life through joy, happiness, success, excitement, and victory.
My life is rich with blessings and abundance. God is providing opportunities and open doors I have only been able to dream of for decades now. He has seen fit to show me that now is the time to reap all I have been sowing over the years; and when God decides to move, trust that He does it in some MIGHTY ways and speed-of-light timeframes! There are so many areas of my life where I see Him moving and providing—publishing contracts, ministry opportunities, a heaven-sent boyfriend, beautiful children, a church home and community that captivates my heart, a steady job that helps to pay the bills. A gorgeous sunset on the way home, or sunrise on my morning commute. The smell of a freshly cooked meal in our home, clothes to keep us warm in the frigid winter temperatures. His blessings are everywhere, if only we choose to look and remain grateful for what he have right at this moment. (“My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 WEB)
That is why, my sweet friends, sometimes $42.42 is enough. Sometimes just letting things be what they are is enough. We should always strive and do our best and do all things as if doing them for the Lord … (“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people. Remember that the Lord will give you as a reward what he has kept for his people. For Christ is the real Master you serve.” Colossians 3:23-24 GNT) but we also need to believe that He will not let us fall and not consume ourselves with the what-ifs or the worries of daily life. We need to trust that He has a plan for us, and His plans are always good. They may not look that way in the beginning or even in the middle … but what we seek and search for is found at the end. His end result. His purpose and plan. His mercy and goodness. So, if you have areas of struggle that worry your mind and heart, lift them up to God. He is able in the areas we are not. He wants us to come to Him and trust that He keeps His promises. Whether a little or a lot, give it to God and watch what He will do with it!